In our home we do Love,

we do Mistakes,

we do Grace,

we do Loud REALLY WELL,

we do Forgiveness,

we work on Patiences,

and we do FAMILY.

But most importatly we love JESUS

and the Sweet Blessings he has sent our way.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Jenna vs Gina

Is our family complete?
This is the question that is bouncing around the walls of my mind as well as my home. Derek and I have had this discuss a million different times all ending with different answers. I have finally come to the conclusion that there is no answer because we don't know. And coming to the conclusion is so very frustrating for me. I am a planner. I am a go get um' kinda girl. I am not an indecisive person...I never have been.
Some days I feel like I can be a better mom to my two healthy beautiful girls than I can be to three children. Then there are other days when I know somebody is missing from my family. I have watched my girls play in the tub, the sandbox, or just looking at them through my rear view mirror and know not everybody is here. Does that make me crazy? I part of my says yes most definitely but another part whispers no. And this is where Jenna vs. Gina come in. I tried to explain to my mom what I was feeling and the best I could come up with was that one part of me knows without a doubt I want another (Jenna) and the other is not so sure (Gina). Crazy...I know!

For now we will enjoy our babies. For now we will play with our girls. For now I will be content. For I have been blessed twice...I really should not ask for more.

3 comments:

Erica Walters said...

One of the hardest questions in life! I'm right there with you!

laurie said...

I giggled learning that all moms are bi-polar at some point. I too have been there and some times I take myself back there when everyone around us is getting prego again. But, like you said, "Enjoy the ones you have now"-those are the ones God has called you too. COntinue to seek His will and not your own and He will make it clear what He wants for your family. It's funny how much control in our lives is such an illusion isn't it?

Jenna said...

Laurie, I often laugh at myself when I think "Well this really isn't going according to MY plan".
See you soon!!

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